Thursday, May 7, 2009

Chemo Class

Or: The number one way to freak Lena out.

Yep chemo class did exactly what I thought it would. Gave me a lot of information about what I will be going through, and completely freaked me out about the upcoming days and months.

It went something like this:

*Watch late '90's chemo movie (pretty informative, and not very scary).

*Talk about what is in our individual packets: types of drugs they might use, terminology, when to call the doctor and when to go to the ER, etc.

*Nurse talks to each of us individually about all of that stuff. Cause we were all there for different reasons.

Ok, so there were three other patients there besides me (along with their support persons) and I was the last to go. The other discussions were simple, just a few minutes each. "Here are the two drugs we will give you and here are the most common side effects. You wont really have to worry about nausea or your hair falling out, those are lesser side effects. This is what you can expect from the treatment, but everyone is different." Until me. "Here are the four drugs we will give you and here are the side effects. You will definitely loose your hair (three of the four have that as a common side effect). You will be nauseated (again, three of the four)." Yay.

I am not even so worried about the hair loss (yet) but I am completely freaked out by the very real possibility of being sick for several days a month. They keep telling me that they have great meds for nausea and they give me one in the IV before they start the treatment, and I have another prescription for one that is for nausea/anxiety that I hear works really well too. But I can't help think that I will have it coming at me from three sides, how well will these actually work? Will I need to take three times the meds to make up for the different drugs? Will the side effects be too much for the meds? Will they not really be anything at all, and I am just being paranoid?

I hope it is more to that last one.

Have you guys read Rosencrantz and Guildenstren are Dead? I keep having this vague quote run through my head...something about being conflicted, or thinking conflicted thoughts. Talina has my book or I would have a better reference here. Help me out reading junkies.

I think I will need extra prayers and good thoughts on Monday and Tuesday.


  1. Hey len I hope everything goes really well and you dont get sick. If there is anything you need let me know.

  2. Here's a list of scarf providers in Utah.
    I gave this same list to my neighbor, she just started her chemo tx for breast cancer :-C
    She does rock the scarves tho!

  3. prayers and good thoughts, done. I also want you to notice that I have too much hair, so if you want some, it's yours.

  4. You will be fine. Just breathe! I know you are scared, but you're a strong woman. You will have lots of prayers and good thoughts coming your way next week.

  5. I know that the nausea thing freaks you out, but they do have fabulous drugs that will hopefully make it stop before it starts. Good luck muffin!! I will be thinking of you.

  6. You do get a superpower as a side effect too. My sister, 20 years on, can immediately tell when someone is within 50 feet of her that has had chemo. She claims she can smell it. Only she can but she is always right.

    (unfortunately the smell makes her naseus - sorry)

    Good luck and remember to think good thoughts - it helps.

  7. Hang in there! You are always in our prayers! Good luck!

  8. lots and lots and lots of love and prayers

    I tried to find the conflicted quote and couldn't, but this seemed appropriate, too (or not!)

    "Look at it this way. If six monkeys... If six monkeys...
    The law of averages, if I have got this right means that if six monkeys were thrown
    up in the air long enough... they would land on their tails
    about as often as they would land on their..."

  9. If i were you, here's what I'd do, Go cut your hair SUPER short!!! and in some crazy way! ;) (not that your hair isn't already short. but maybe in a really cute pixie cut. Then when it starts to come out, you're not dealing with long hairs everywhere and pixie cuts are cute. :)
    We're praying for you! chin up! and think of being sick like a trail run for being pregnant some day. :)

  10. How was the race? Matt and I will be thinking and praying for you both tomorrow.

  11. Prayers and thoughts and everything. You are always on my mind. If there really is anything even the tiniest thing I can do for you please let me. I love you