Possibly out of desperation

I mentioned before that my hair is falling out pretty quickly. I thought I would have a little more time with it, but that seems not to be the case. So, after about 4 days of being afraid to touch my hair and having hand fulls of it come out when I did (some of you have witnessed this), I decided that it would be easier to manage, and less traumatic while it is still falling out, if I cut it short. I know, I know, "but Lena, your hair is so short already!" Yes, and no. I agree that my hair is short, but it was not short enough. I touch it too much.

I spent about a day thinking about this with a friend at work. Looking up pictures, discussing pros and cons to each style. Deciding if each one was really short enough to accomplish my goal. Finally we decided on a couple that looked reasonable.

My SIL Amy came over for an emergency cut and we were both a little emotional when it started coming off. In the middle of the cut we were visited by the the entire Young Women's program in our ward which includes one of my good friends. They filled up my small apartment for a little while while they watched.

When she finished, my first impression was that it was short, really short. But I was not as shocked as I thought I would be. After all, I had my hair pretty short in high school. But then it started to sink in. And I realized that I had worked pretty hard to get out of what I looked like in high school. Then I showered to get all the itchy hair off me and put in this scalp treatment that Amy gave me (which, by the way, smells like something organic is rotting and you tried to cover it up with Lysol) and it worked like a mousse to successfully style my hair like a 90's super-lesbian. Sorry if that offends anyone, but that was my first impression. And it made me sad. I looked about 10 pounds smaller, and I hated it. I was really upset for quite a while. I was freaking out about what I was going to do at work when everyone saw me. I tried to fine a hat or scarf or something to hide it. And it smelled terrible. :(

That night I wore a beanie to bed to try and keep the smell from the pillow, and when I woke up it had smashed my hair down enough that I was not so upset at how I looked. And everyone at work assured me it was cute. Even a couple of members commented. And now I am fine with it. It is still weird to not feel my hair when I move my head, to feel the wind on my actual scalp, and when I first see my reflection in something. But I am getting used to it. And who knows how long it will stick around anyway.

When I went to show my parents Dad took a couple pictures of me and they turned out better than the ones I took, so here is my new look!